frame of mind...
The man just bought a new Carhart winter jacket. He's needed one. I think he managed to get 4 or 5 years out of the last one, even though he burned a hole in the elbow at work about 3 days after he got it new. So he's had a cold elbow for 4 or 5 years. He was due for a new winter jacket. I didn't ask but I'm sure it was close to $100. He told me I needed to get one like it when I was due for a new coat. I guess it's super warm. Then he said, "you haven't gotten a new coat in at least 10 years, have you?" I said no. & he asked, "why?" & I shrugged. He said he *knew* I'd shrug as soon as he asked, "why?"
The answer became a complicated sort of meandering for a few days along the lines of my love for thrifting and frugal living and so on. I came to a realization however that I've taken it (as I do with so many things in my life) to an extreme level. I seem to have somehow gotten the notion into my head, in an unspoken sort of way--that I don't deserve NEW things. That sounds ridiculous, in a way, to even say. But he's right. I haven't gotten a new coat in 10 years. I've had a few new (to me) coats given to me. & on one level, if I have a perfectly fine coat, why should I go buy one? The thing is, I realized that I have begun to refuse to buy anything new for myself. I haven't gotten my hair done in at least 5 or 6 years. I trim it myself. I haven't paid retail for anything aside from the bare necessities (undies & such) in at least that long (that I can recall. sometimes you need something immediately & then you can't really thrift for it, you know?). I just wore through the knee of my favorite jeans. They're those "Just Right" jeans that are super comfortable and make your ass look great. I love these jeans. They're not an expensive brand, either. I could probably get a pair for under $25 new. I happened to find them while thrifting, for a couple of bucks... I've kept my eye out since for the same brand and size but it hasn't happened. I went to the store the other day thinking I'd just buy myself one pair. & I couldn't do it. "I can wait till I see some at one of the thrift stores... it's no big deal." & I could. But I really LOVE those jeans. The fact that I couldn't allow myself to spend $25 on a pair of NEW jeans seemed silly. Then I looked around me & realized that there are a lot of things that I really need that I just keep making do with less. & I've pared our budget down to the point where I am using budget-wise sandpaper to hone it even further. I can't cut anything else out. The only thing left is utilities.
This is GREAT. & saving money & not being a slave to the retail king is great too. It can just as easily swing in the opposite direction, though. & I think there's something poisonous about allowing oneself to believe that you shouldn't have nice things in your life. (not that you can't have great things via thrifting, and for a helluva lot less. you CAN and I DO) ...I guess I just realized that given all the cuts I make in our budget (and the fact that my not smoking is also saving us another $100 some a month)--it should be OK for me to allow myself to splurge now & again.

I think I had almost begun to cultivate a (money) poor life simply by acting and thinking that this is who & where I am. It's not. & since I've been consciously telling myself otherwise, things have been looking up in other areas as well. I'll continue to be frugal, because I think it's a smart thing to do. I won't be a slave to that need, however. & I deserve some brand new to me stuff every once in awhile.